Prelude: Sometimes life falls from above like shards of a shattered sky light. Despite the edges that cut so deeply, light continues to travel through. Before we can see the light anew, however, we first we must feel our pain. Only then can we heal.
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She had lost three friends in one week. Floating in grief, she was tethered only by the gravitational pull of her home. Her house seemed to be moving, as if on an axis. She did not know in which room to live.
The porch beckoned and on most mornings the sun lured her with warmth and peace but today the breeze blew her papers. She scrambled to bundle them, almost crying. Neighbors watched as she stooped and scooped the loose ends. The piles grew but the order did not.
The kitchen tempted her with diversion. What new flavors would settle on to her tongue? The spice rack teamed with suggestions but quickly overwhelmed her with discordant chatter. Too much noise. Too many choices. She spun away and climbed the stairs.
Climbing was good. Her muscles worked. Her head held still. She felt progress as she approached the landing. The bedroom waited. However, its boredom did not refresh her. It offered only supine luxury for which she was not in the mood. She felt the house shift ever so slightly. A fine line appeared.
The children’s rooms were quiet with empty beds and still toys. They filled her with longing, more imagined than real. The children would come again when they were ready. Until then, the night light would set off the same constellation against the walls at dusk.
She had lost three friends in one week. Nothing was the same. She slipped into the bathroom, a shower to renew and cleanse. Predictably, she had to wait for the water to warm. As she did, she tried not to look into the mirror. The steam fogged her thoughts and saved her from seeing clearly.
Once dry, she felt better. Her skin held her tightly together. She descended to the living room and turned off the television. The sudden silence threw her off balance, propelling her back into space. She stood in the middle of the room for the living yet no one greeted her. There were no stars . Then she heard a single quivering sound -another fine line etching its way along the wall? Or was that the sound of her soul teetering at the edge of the universe? Then and only then, she cried . The house stood still once more.
